Monday, October 29, 2007

Part VI: Four Grandchildren of Andrew Russell and Josephine Davis


Margery Eunice Davis Wienand

(December 6, 1911-February 13, 2000)

The second child of Luther and Ellie Davis was born on December 6, 1911. Margery Eunice Davis was almost four years younger than her sister Mary Lucille and a little over 3 years older than her brother Cronin who was born the early part of 1915. Early pictures of Margery, whose name was chosen for a perfume sold at her father’s drug store,* show a beautiful child with engaging eyes as well as physical grace. Her beauty and grace would be a hallmark even into adult life. What the early years were like for the three children of Luther and Ellie can only be told in pictures. There is one photograph of Luther, Ellie, Mary Lucille and Margery that shows Margery standing close to her handsome father. Judging from the possible ages of the children and the pleasant look on Ellie’s face the third child (Cronin) more than likely was on the way. As I look closely at Margery, her eyes once again are the clear and bright lamps that I remember from my earliest times of visiting her in Montgomery, Alabama. Margery, perhaps, favored her mother Ellie more than her two siblings did. Ellie had a full oval face with perfectly positioned eyes. Margery, too, was stamped in her mother’s image.

The first memories of Margery Davis Wienand were after the family had moved from Fairhope, Alabama. I have to rely on her children’s knowledge of when this move took place because until recently I thought the Wienands had always lived in Montgomery. My father always spoke of Margery, but my first remembrance was a drop by visit to their home in 1955 or 1956. My oldest brother was enrolled in the Forestry Department at Auburn University, and after church one Sunday, we all piled into the car to drive over three hours to visit him. At age 11 it seemed like an endless journey to me. Because of the long drive back to Tuscaloosa we didn’t stay very long visiting with my brother. It was long enough, however, to deliver any needed supplies and care packages. On our way back to Tuscaloosa, we stopped at Margery and John Wienand’s home in Montgomery. I have a clear memory of being warmly greeted by my aunt and uncle as well as being fed from their table. Uncle John had a quiet but strong presence and Aunt Margery was interested in the details of life regarding her brother and his family. I was conscious that she had a genuine interest in who were were. My own family was not given to physical expressions of affection, but the Wienand family expressed their affection openly. I was impressed with this and remember early on desiring to imitate these characteristics. I have a vague recollection of my aunt and uncle’s two daughters and was intrigued to know that I had female cousins. With six boys in my family and out of the 19 cousins from my mothers family only 5 were girls and all were younger than I. Meeting an older girl cousin as well as a younger one in the same family was significant. Margery and John’s son who was known as Son-John since he was the third generation with the name was probably not home at the time. He was the same age as one of my older brothers so the age difference may have precluded interaction at the time.

We visited on several other occasions for the same reason of needing to go visit my brother at Auburn University. The same warmth and hospitality was always present as well as great affection for us as close relatives. My father spoke of Margery in affectionate ways and always enjoyed her written missives to our family. He had a Mobile-way of speaking her name and the sound was like someone who had been reared in Boston, MA. He pronounced “Auburn” the same way. I noticed that a lot of natives from the Mobile area spoke with that inflection even Margery herself. I loved to hear her say the word “Christmas.” It sounded like “Crusmus” or something similar.

As far as his two sisters were concerned, my dad was the “apple of their eye.” I wondered if this doting and “excessive” caring for the younger brother of the family had to do with the fact that these children had lost their “real mother” at early ages. Mary Lucille would have been 8, Margery was 4 ½ and Cronin was 16 months old. Until their dad remarried over three years after his first wife died, it had to be hard on the older two as well as the baby (Cronin). Perhaps, the two dear sisters looked after him in special ways.

Every February 14 on my dad’s birthday as long as I can remember, it was a guarantee that my father would receive a box of candy and a big, fuzzy, heart-shaped valentine from his sister Margery. Mary Lucille would also send a card. Maybe it didn’t happen every year, but it was often. I had never seen fuzzy, large valentines except when he received them on his birthday. I thought all valentines came in small sizes and many to a package like the ones that were handed out in school. There were always duplicates in the little packages, but my dad always had unique valentines. I remember, too, that it was an unspoken rule that none of us children would ask our dad for a piece of the candy that he had received in the special valentine candy box. He put the box in his underwear drawer of his chest of drawers. Each night before he went to work, he would take out a piece and put it in his lunch box. We were allowed to smell the box when it was empty. Russell Stovers and other candy makers seemed to steep their candy boxes in chocolate, and the sweet smell of chocolate stayed with the box for decades.

As all children seem to grow up faster than one imagines, the grandchildren of Luther and Ellie Davis followed suit. I remember other times that the Wienands and the Davises gathered together but the pace and direction of the various lives were always in multiple directions. Some of the cousins went into the service. I know that Son-John made a career in the Air Force. Some were going to the University. Others were making career choices that took them far away. Montgomery and Tuscaloosa are only 100 miles apart but as everyone even now can attest, “It is the longest and most time consuming hundred miles that anyone can imagine. “Are we there, yet?” is not even funny when driving that 100 miles.

There were weddings, and some were able to attend. These events only gave us snatches of time to get caught up and not everyone could be present for a zillion reasons. After a while, the little connections that we did have began to disconnect and we lost contact except for the news we would hear from our parents about Margery and John. Then, parents die and even children die before parents. Parents who were the hub of contact are no longer there to convey the news of cousins and relatives that we no longer really know. Now, funerals bring us together and everyone says, “We must get together.” Time and space, however, intervene, and the connections are not made for many reasons.

Relationships are intentional in that we are responsible for maintaining them. No one else is. Some are easy to maintain and are reciprocated. But, others are more complicated because of personalities, time or lack of interest.

As we age, some of us have a need to reconnect with family no matter how distant the relations. We may also wish that things had been different and the closeness that wasn’t there for years would have a resurgence through the remaining cousins whether they be first cousins or first cousins once removed. Since there are no more mothers or fathers remaining of our parents’ generation, we are left only with ourselves to carry on the remembrance of our parents’ siblings and of their parents and grandparents. Thus, we have genealogical works that list names or story memories like this present blog. There will always be gaps in the story. Sometimes the gaps are very large since one person’s memory is only part of the puzzle. The gaps in memory for dear Aunt Margery are great for me. Circumstances are never the same when it comes to equal time with relatives. The time for starting over or starting the first time is never too late while there is still breath. I rely now on my dear cousins, the surviving children of Margery Eunice Davis Wienand, to fill me in on the huge gaps that I’m incapable of filling. Actually, they have already begun that process to my delight. The best memory of her is that my parents loved her dearly as a sister and sister-in-law. That was evident from my earliest memory. This is enough to continue her memory in my own mind and pass it on to my children and grandchildren. Margery Davis Wienand’s joys, pains, heartaches, successes and triumphs are memories that may have been long forgotten, but her kind, loving, and caring ways live on in her children. Observe them closely, and you will observe as well as experience the loving legacy of Margery Davis Wienand.



*As remembered by her daughter

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

As the daughter who provided the story on the origin of Margery's name, I must confess this is the tale my precious mama told. As I've discovered through the years, though, sometimes the Irish penchant for stories came through with all of those who possessed Cronin ties, stories that might be true, but stories that might not. I do not know the accuracy of this story of her name, only that it is what she relayed. Anymore than I know the truth of all those stories Aunt Bess (Cronin) Thuringer told, from our being related to the well-known author A.J. Cronin, whom she said was Irish and only later, when I acquired some of his books, did I discover he was Scottish. Or, on the Davis side, she said, we were related to the Confederate President Jefferson Davis. Equally unlikely in that his roots were in Kentucky, just up the road from where I now live in Clarksville, TN.
One of our family who does speak the truth, however, is Cousin Ron, in his delightful remembrances, especially in this one on Mama. She was a sweet beauty, kind and generous, and I thank him for his beautiful reminder of her qualities.